In the world of stand-up comedy Lester, the wandering troubadour, cuts a unique figure. He knows so many jokes, stories and songs that once he starts he eventually has to sit down through fatigue, so Lester is a sit-down comic as opposed to a stand-up. He made his name at weddings, the kind where the two partcipating families didn't quite gel, so it was he who broke the mould and brought laughter to an otherwise awkward situation.
We all experience such awkward situations and we hope Lester's jokes will help you too when you're lost for words or wish to break the ice.
7 jokes every week, one for each day of the week, and we hope you laugh as much as Hyena did.
1. I'm going to a nude party tonight. I might as well as I have nothing on
2. I was so pleased when the bank manager told me today I had an outstanding account
3. I watched an eclipse through a vegetable colender last night and strained my eyes
4. If you think the world's going too fast just go to the post office
5. I was such a quiet child I never had a birthmark until I was seven
6. I built an electric fence around my house, now the neighbour is dead against it
7. If too many cooks spoilt the broth there must be hundreds at motorway services
1. My daughter says I have a cleaning obsession. I told her ‘Rubbish Flash, now go and help Bleach clean his bedroom’
2. I saw a programme on how they hold ships together. It was riveting
3. For sale; Parachute, only used once, never opened
4. My partner was so boring at sex that I drew a chalk line around her when she had finished
5. My girlfriend thinks I should be more committed. Actually, she’s not really my girlfriend
6. Did you hear about the supermarket shoplifter who was caught when he asked for the club card points
7. Have you also realised that a pizza delivery person can arrive at your house quicker than the police?
1. Why did the cows return to the marijuana field? It was the pot calling the cattle back
2. I went on a balloon holiday last week, I put on three and a half stone
3. A lady asks a librarian if there are any suspense books he could recommend and the librarian replied 'well . . . '
4. I told my partner I wasn't doing anything today and she said that's what I did yesterday. I told her I hadn't finished
5. My wife says I'm far too impulsive. How can she say that when I only met her yesterday?
6. The only problem with being an atheist is there's no-one to shout to when you have an orgasm
7. No-one understgands why I enjoy F1 so much when there are so many other keys on my keyboard